


Slowing Down (discontinued)

by sheepcloud



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Child Abuse, Depression, Hospitals, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:39:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8217310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepcloud/pseuds/sheepcloud
Summary: She suggested group therapy, saying that it would probably help with the usual meetings. He couldn't help but agree, making friends with the same problems he had could help after all, and he'd stop feeling less alone. He meets a few people, interesting people. First, there's Rose -- she has anger issues, though she says it's only because people don't listen. Dezel -- who has stage 3 retinoblastoma, and is only there for grief counselling. Edna, who Sorey can't figure out, because all she says is she's there for her friend Mikleo. Mikleo, a violinist fresh out of the hospital for a suicide attempt. A Kind of Funny Story AU





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> As the tags state, if you are uncomfortable by any of those tags, don't read this unless you absolutely want to. There will be talk of suicide, self-harm, and other mental instability stuff. 
> 
> The ages of all the characters are:
> 
> Sorey: 16  
> Mikleo: 17  
> Edna: 17  
> Rose: 15  
> Dezel: 21  
> Lailah: 29
> 
> Lots of time skipping.
> 
> A Kind of Funny Story AU with a different ending.

“I’m here to help you, and I just want to establish a trust between the two of us. I really want to help you with your problems, so please, can you start with your name?”

Her tone is light, and she’s smiling easily as she looks at the teen from across her, sitting in a comfortable black chair across her desk. He looks anxious, his brown hair messy and his green eyes were accompanied by dark circles. He breathed in deeply and spoke.

“Sorey.”

She sat back in her chair and smiled once again. “Hey Sorey! You can call me Lailah, okay?” Lailah said cheerfully, shifting in her chair as she reached for her pen. “Can you tell me why you are here? Take your time.”

  
Sorey shifted as well, wringing his hands. “ _Well…_ ”

* * *

 The shrill sound of his alarm broke through his sleep, his eyes flickering to life as he gazed out the window, the sun barely peeking out of the clouds. Sorey sat up, shakily rubbing his eyes. He had been waking up early for a while now, finding it harder to wake up closer to the regular time school were to start.

So he had made the decision to set extra alarms, starting early in the morning. Maybe if he kept them going, he wouldn’t fall back asleep and miss the bus to school every day. Especially if he was just going to get scolded by his grandfather, he thought it to be worth it. Sorey reached over for his phone, hitting the snooze button absent mindedly.

_02:12PM Me: Alisha u forgot your glasses at lunch, I have them_

_06:05PM Me: hey do you know the answer to this_

_09:45PM Alisha: Hey Sorey! Don’t forget that you promised you’d eat lunch with me today!_

_Was I really asleep for that long?!_ He sprung up off his bed, tripping as his blankets tangled around his legs. He fell to the floor with a loud _thud_ , knocking his head on his bedroom floor. Sorey lay there, dazed for a few moments. As the ringing in his ears subsided, he slowly removed his blankets from his legs. He stood up, hoping that his fall hadn’t woken up his grandfather in the floor below.

Thus came his usual morning routine, except at a much more slower, snail-like pace. He passed on brushing his teeth, not feeling the energy to even do so. But knowing his grandfather would nag him if he didn’t shower, he turned the faucet over. The water came cascading down as he stripped himself of his pyjamas, tossing them to a corner of the bathroom.

He couldn’t remember when the sluggishness had started, at least not ever since his memory had started to blur into one consecutive color. As the brunet had begun to lather shampoo into his hair, he remembered this forgotten report card in his backpack, the red marks making his stomach drop as he thought of showing it to his guardian. Sorey frowned, pushing his head under the torrent of water, feeling horrible. _I don’t have to show him. Not yet._

It’s just a funk, he had tried to tell himself, once it really started to hit him. Even Alisha, his friend, his crush, had noticed his sudden change in behavior. She jokingly said that he stopped joining in on class discussions in history, but a light joke to her had been a horrible realization to him.

Sorey really _had_ changed.

By the time he had came downstairs, his grandfather was already sitting at the kitchen table, taking a puff from his pipe. The smell of tobacco was nostalgic to Sorey, his grandfather was always a smoker, even back when he was a small child. He sat down across from him, offering a smile.

Though a smile he did not receive, instead his grandfather looked at his disheveled appearance. “Did you sleep at all last night?” he asked him. Sorey fiddled with his hair, blinking at his comment. Hands dropping to the table, he nodded.

“Though I think I fell asleep way too early.” Sorey chuckled, and his grandfather took another puff.

He remained silent for a few more seconds, before acknowledging Soreys comment. “Are you alright, boy? You’ve been falling asleep early for a while,” he said, and as Sorey winced he quickly added to his sentence. “Of course I’d notice your change in habits, I’ve known you all your life.”

Sorey laughed dryly and nodded his head. “Yeah, I think it’s because I keep waking up so early, you know how it goes.” he assured his guardian, and the other sat back in his chair and took another inhale from his pipe, seeming reserved in his own thoughts.

“You can always talk to me, if there is anything wrong. Sorey.”  When their conversation had dropped, Sorey got up to make himself from breakfast. Toast and jam was his breakfast, and he was sure his grandpa would not object to that.

Big breakfasts were never their thing anyway.

* * *

 His fingers drummed against his knee anxiously, holding onto a small bag with his meager lunch inside with his free hand. She was late, he couldn’t help but notice how even though she had been the one to remind him, she was running late. Sorey set his lunch on the bench beside him, and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing his bangs back. _It’s okay, she just got held back by her teacher, probably. Most definitely!_

The teen dug his phone from his school bag, feeling his stomach drop when he hadn’t even received a text from her. Unlocking his phone, he began typing in a new message. As he neared the end of the text, the sound of his name being called made him tear his eyes from the screen.

“Sorey.”

Alisha had arrived.

The brunette began to smile, but his smile quickly dropped as he noticed the other person beside Alisha, suspiciously, their arm around her shoulders. “H...hey Alisha. Who’s that?” his green eyes narrowed to the teen, and Alisha quickly flushed and lowered her head a little.

Before the girl could respond, the boy beside her cleared his throat. “My name is Sergei. We’re in gym together, don’t you remember?”

No. No Sorey didn’t.

“Oh! Duh!” he faked smacking his forehead, over dramatic at the moment. “Sorry, I didn’t even recognize you!” he looked up apologetically, but at that moment he felt anything but that way. “So are you- you guys uh, umm?” Sorey asked, eyes pointing to the intimate position they were in. Alisha made a small noise of recognition, and the smile only further made him feel sick to his stomach.

She nodded. “You could say that…” she smiled softly.

His stomach had grown into a giant pit, collapsing on itself. He felt sick. “Oh. That’s great. Ahaha, no that’s really awesome!” Sorey attempted to smile, and though he tried, it didn’t seem half as meaningful as he wanted it to come off. Alisha noticed his sudden change in behavior and cocked her head to the side.

“Hey, you okay, Sorey?”

But he wasn’t listening, too focused on the sudden and painful ache in his chest. How was he supposed to react to finding out about this? He _liked_ Alisha! No, he really really liked her, but the flush on her face and Sergeis arm…

Standing up abruptly, he almost dropped his phone. “Sorry Alisha, but- I think I forgot something in my locker that I need to get.” Sorey fumbled for his things, hands shaking uncontrollably. “I’ll- I’ll see you later.” he passes them, not even glancing at the couple as he hurries away.

He barely hears the both of them call out to him, he was out of earshot soon enough, his pace turning into a brisk jog. Soreys eyes burned, his heart pounding in his throat. He just needed to get away from that place, away from _them_. He lost track of where he was going, just walking away was all he could think of, his phone gripped tightly in his hands.

When he regained any semblance of reality, panic lessening in his chest, he smelled water. Lake water, to be exact. Sorey scanned the area around him, assessing the place. He found himself on a bridge, a local place that many people came to in the afternoon. It was a beautiful touristy area, with the waterfall feeding into the lake, almost anyone would want to visit such a pretty place.

But Sorey was feeling everything but serenity, and he hiccuped. He dropped his schoolbag, hands moving to his face as tears came rolling down his cheeks. He leaned over the railing, and pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes, willing the tears to go away.

Sergei and Alisha… were dating. They were together. A couple. Alisha didn’t even tell him. _Why didn’t she tell me? That they were… were… dating…?_ He thought distressingly. None of it was fair. In a way, he felt like he had been beaten to the punch. But Sorey felt awful, thinking like that was wrong. His best friend- Alisha, she was no prize to be won. Even if he repeated those thoughts to him, it was still the heartache that made him feel even more disgusting.

 _Of course. Why would she like me? She even said so herself- that I had changed, I…_ he sobbed again, holding tightly onto the railing as he simply let the sound of rushing water drown out his thoughts.

Lakehaven was a big city, but the waterfall was located on the outskirts of town. It was a water city, his grandfather called it.

Sorey slowly opened his eyes. Gray waters greeted him, waves crashing against the rocky wall that protected the city. The water swelled around the sightseeing perch, and he stared blankly down. At that moment, he felt tired. So incredibly tired that he let his body relax against the cold iron in front of him, the only thing blocking him from falling down into the icy cold depths below.

If only he could just simply duck under…

Wait.

Wait, what? What was that? Sorey felt sick to his stomach, his thoughts finally catching up with him. Fear gripped his chest, and suddenly it was hard to breathe again. He shakily grabbed his phone from his school bag, needing to get a hold of someone. The teen felt, well, unsafe in his own lonesome.

 _Calling_ Gramps _!_

* * *

 He hated the smell of hospitals. The utter cleanliness of them bothered him, it made him uncomfortable. Sorey stepped into the elevator, his grandfather following and standing right beside him. There was an awkward silence that only made him grow more and more upset, anxious by just being in an enclosed space.

“Gramps-” he attempted to speak.

“I know, Sorey. You remember the room number, right? I just wanted to walk with you, to see you off.” his grandfather cut him off. There was a warm hand on his shoulder, and Sorey felt relieved. “You just call me when you’re out, and I’ll come by to pick you up.” he squeezed his shoulder.

Sorey glanced at him, eyes welling up with tears. “Thank you… I love you, you know?”

His grandfather chuckled, and let go of his shoulder. “I love you too, child. Now, go on. You really can’t keep the rest of the group waiting.” He gestured for Sorey to exit the elevator as the door opened. Sorey leaned over to embrace his guardian, smelling the tobacco and smoke that permeated his clothes. This earned a pat on the back, and after a few more seconds, he finally pulled away.

“Alright. I’ll be back.”

His doctor, Lailah, had recommended many things to him during his course of seeing her. Medication, bi-weekly therapy visits, and although they helped they both had admitted that it didn’t shake the feeling of worthlessness that had dug itself deep inside of him.

She suggested group therapy, saying that it would probably help with the usual meetings. He couldn't help but agree, making friends with the same problems he had could help after all, and he'd stop feeling less alone.

He didn’t feel scared about the meeting before, so why was it now when faced to the door of the room did he become anxious? Knowing if he didn’t enter sooner or later, they would start without him, so he pushed the door open.

The room was simple, chairs were set in a circle in the center of a room. Off to the side there was a table with water bottles and cookies, there he saw Lailah conversing with two people. One was a short blonde girl wearing a light blue hoodie that went past her skirt, or what Sorey had assumed was her skirt. Beside her was a slightly taller boy, his hair a pale shade of brown and his bangs curled around his cheeks, perfectly accenting his violet eyes.

“Oh! Sorey!” Lailah called over to him, and he closed the door behind him. He greeted her with a smile, noticing the stares the other two were giving him. “Sorey, I want you to meet Edna! Oh and Mikleo, I’m sure you three will get along just fine.” she grinned, clasping her hands together.

Sorey offered a wave to the other teens, Ednas blue eyes bore into his forehead while the other boy just stared. “Well?” Edna quipped. “You gonna introduce yourself, dude?” she said sourly, her attitude already making it apparent she was most definitely _not_ a morning person. The boy beside her sighed, looking at him apologetically.

“Sorry, Edna can be a bit dour at first, but her bark is worse than her bite.” he smiled at Sorey, and it was comforting. “I’m Mikleo, and this is- well, Edna.” he gestured to his shorter companion. “We’re classmates from Lakehaven Central.”

Lakehaven Central? Soreys eyes immediately brightened. “Mm! My name is Sorey, I.. I also go to Lakehaven Central! I’ve never seen you before however…” he tried to think back, did he know them? He knew their school was rather big…

Edna scoffed at his comment, rolling her eyes as she reached into her bag to bring out her phone. “Are you an idiot? Our school is big, so if you haven’t met us, that’s why.” she said, not even looking up from her phone. This warranted another look from Mikleo, but he smiled and shrugged. He really took no offense from her words.

“Where are the others? Usually they aren’t this late…” Lailah fretted, standing over the table with the beverages. “I even brought Roses favorite cookies!” she frowned and cupped her chin in thought.

“I’m sure they’ll be here soon.” Sorey said calmly. What was he saying? He didn’t know the others, so did he even have the right to comment?

Luckily and thankfully, Mikleo nodded at his words. “Yeah, Dezel is probably late because Rose didn’t want to get up on time. You know her.” he laughed as if he had said something funny, and Sorey felt awkward. The others already knew each other, and it seemed the knew each other well.

The teen eye’d the water bottles, contemplating on grabbing one. Sorey gingerly reached for one, taking the cap off with careful movements. But Mikleo hadn’t stopped looking at him, and he felt even more awkward. “Hey.” he lowered the bottle from his lips after taking a drink, smiling at the shorter boy.

“...Hey.” Mikleo didn’t return the smile, and instead averted his gaze immediately. “Sorry, I’m gonna- gonna go sit down…” he ducked away, grabbing Ednas arm and pulling her with him. Sorey frowned, wondering had he done something wrong.

Sorey looked to Lailah, but she was busy looking at her clipboard. “Hey, um.. Lailah?” he asked tentatively. The woman lowered her clipboard, the smile he had grown to be comforted by ever present on her face. “How many people come to these meetings?” Awkwardly he scratched his forearm, wanting to do something with his sleeves.

“Five, if you include yourself! Or six if you include me!” Lailah replied happily. “It’s a small group, and everyone here is here for different reasons. If you’re worried about having to talk about your deepest secrets, don’t worry! We only talk if we have to, after all, it’s a support group as much as a therapy session.” she had explained to him, and he supposed it made sense. Not that he really questioned Lailah’s methods, she was a good doctor. Sorey had found himself lucky, finding a nice doctor on the first try.

“Alright, sorry we’re late!”

The door opened, and immediately the room was filled with the loud voice of a red haired girl. She seemed bright and awake, arm around a taller man with pale hair. “Okay Dezel, the chair is literally right in front of you. If you can’t find it, just holler, okay?” she winked at the man who grimaced at her.

“Thank you, Rose. As ever, you are _such_ a great help.” his voice was laced with sarcasm, dripping with it in fact.

When the girl’s eyes laid on him she made a noise of surprise. “You’re the new kid!” Sorey saw the man wince at her being so blunt, but she made her way over to him and grabbed his hand enthusiastically. “Hey! It’s real nice to meet’cha! I’m Rose! That over there is Dezel, he’s blind.” she said, and Sorey only wished she could turn down the volume of her voice a few notches.

“Uh-oh- um…. I’m… Sorey.” he smiled at her, although it was shaky and weak. “It’s nice to meet you too. Oh and hi Dezel!” he called, and assumed the wave was meant for him. Managing to pull his hand away from her killer grip, he grabbed the water bottle he had opened.

Lailah came running over to Rose, and hugged her tightly. “Oh gosh! You guys are finally here! I thought something had happened!” she said loudly, and Rose patted her back. “But you guys are okay! Oh and you met Sorey? He’s a good kid, and I hope you can help him feel more comfortable here!” Lailah pulled away, hands still on Roses shoulders.

The red haired girl smiled at Lailah, and pulled her hands off of her. “Okay Doc’ I know it’s super easy to miss me and all, but personal space is still a thing.” Lailah giggled. She grabbed a few of the cookies from the table, munching on them as she sat by Dezel in the circle.

Lailah nodded at Sorey, and he sat down with them. He was situated beside Edna, who seemed to be- in a way- guarding Mikleo, and to his left sat Dezel. Though his presence wasn’t noticed- he didn’t mind. Lailah handed out pieces of paper and clipboards, taking a seat across from all of them. “Okay, hello guys! Before we get started, I want to introduce you to our new member. I know you have all met him already, but for formalities sake let’s let him introduce himself.” she turned to Sorey, edging him to speak.

“Oh- uh,” he wasn’t prepared for that. “Hi.” he started awkwardly. “My name is Sorey- and, I am 16 years old. A second year at Lakehaven Central.” From the corner of his eye, he swore he saw Edna’s grip on Mikleos arm tighten, but he chose to ignore it. “I live with my grandpa- and…” Sorey licked his dry lips.

“And?”

He shook his head. “That’s it.” he smiled, hands gripping the clipboard tightly.

Rose stared at him, her arms crossed as she lounged in her chair. “Are we gonna go around and explain ourselves this time, Lailah?” The older woman thought for a bit, and nodded.

“Maybe if we talk about ourselves, Sorey will feel less awkward! Care to start Rose?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Yeah, sure.” she sat up straight, arms falling to her lap. “Names Rose. I’m 15 years old and I’m a foster kid. Got some anger issues that they wanted me to work out, s’why I’m here and all.” she looked at Sorey, who froze. “It’s real great to meet you.”

As they went down the line, Sorey learned from the others. Dezel was a twenty-one year old man with stage three cancer. Retinoblastoma, to be exact. He had since lost his eyesight, and was recommended to Lailah by his physician. Sorey felt bad for him, but as if reading his thoughts, Dezel spoke. “Don’t feel bad for me. I have made peace with my blindness, and in turn, my death.”

Edna said she didn’t have any real problems. Seventeen years old, she lived with her brother who worked full time to support her. “Really I’m here for Meebo-” she jabbed the pale brunet playfully. “But if anything comes up, I’ll definitely, totally let you all know.”Mikleo swatted her hands away, grunting at her even if she seemed to be nice.

Mikleo. Seventeen years as well, Ednas childhood best friend. He played the violin, and he lived with his uncle. The way his voice dropped at the mention of his uncle, it only added to the tension in the room suddenly. Sorey noticed the way he sunk into his chair, sinking away from everyone else in the room. _Must be shy._ That was the only explanation he could muster up.

As her nature, Lailah immediately began speaking. “Okay everyone! The activity today is a memory activity. On the paper I have given you, I want you to draw a line down the middle of the page, label one side “heroes” and the other “enemies”. Okay?” She waited patiently as everyone went to work, the scratch of pens and pencils filling the room. “Now, please list your heroes. It can be anyone, a guardian or a teacher or even a fictional character.”

* * *

 “The meetings aren’t hard,” Sorey said through a mouthful of cereal. His grandfather chuckles at him and gently reminded him of his manners. “I mean sometimes they’re awkward, but Lailah is pretty good at making a sour situation good.” he beamed. For the first time in what seemed like forever he felt better. He felt… normal. Zenrus had noticed as well, but if this was pointed out, surely Sorey were to blush and shrug it off.

Sorey took another spoonful of cereal into his mouth, chewing slowly before swallowing. Ever since he had started the group meetings with Lailah, he had begun to notice more. In fact, he even saw Mikleo in the hallway at school! But since then he hadn’t seen either Mikleo or Edna, surely because they were juniors and had classes on the other side of the building.

Even arriving at school hadn’t been more like a chore anymore, Sorey felt happy. Even if he was avoiding Alisha, he still felt more back to his old self.

Life was good. Life was simple.

Until lunch period, that is.

He was taking his time, fiddling with his locker trying to get it open. Sorey muttered something under his breath, but finally he had gotten it open after much trial and error. He shoveled a few books into his bag, and closed his locker softly.

“Hey wait up!”

Sorey looked up just in time to see Mikleo run past him and straight to the boys bathroom. Edna was far behind, jogging instead. “Meebo, wait for me!” she called out, but the brunet had already entered the bathroom. Sorey stood up and Edna stopped beside him, gritting her teeth. “ _Damn it_.” she muttered, frantically pulling out her phone.

“Hey what’s going on?” Sorey asked, but was shushed by the short girl as she put her phone up to her ear.

She tapped her foot anxiously. “C’mon, Meebo, answer. Please.” He noticed her body expressions came to a halt, and she lowered her phone with a grave expression. “You!” she turned her head sharply towards him, blue eyes dark with emotion. “Go get Meebo, drag him out of there I don’t care- just, get him.” she sounded anxious. “Please.” she added at the end.

Sorey blinked, confused. “Yeah- sure. But can you explain what’s going on? Why was he running?” he asked. Edna shook her head.

“Idiot got spooked by something, but _please_ , I won’t answer your questions until you get him out!”

Sorey walked to the restroom, coming in slowly. He heard heavy breathing come from the stall immediately to his left, and he only assumed that was Mikleo. “Hey?” he knocked on the stall door softly, calling out in an as equally soft voice. “You okay in there?”

The only response he had gotten was a hitch in Mikleos voice, and Sorey’s heart ached for him. “Y...yeah… I’m fine…” his voice was watery, obviously still trying to hide the sound of sobs coming from his chest. “Just… I just need a moment... “ Sorey nodded and stood there beside the stall, playing with the hem of his sweater sleeve.

After a long silence, “Are you… still there?” he heard Mikleo ask.

“Yep.”

More silence. The lock clicked open and the door came with it, Mikleo walking out. He looked pale- well, paler than usual. His violet eyes red and his cheeks streaked with tear stains. However he did not look at Sorey, and Sorey did not try to touch him. Even if that is all he wanted to do, was to pull the other boy into a tight hug.

“You okay?” Sorey tried to ask.

Mikleo breathed in deeply, exhaling and nodded. “Yeah- I’m fine.” he looked at Sorey, but his facial expressions were nothing but _okay_.

Sorey opened his mouth, and then closed it. He tried again. “I know we’re not close but- we’re in the same group so…” he began awkwardly. “Well- what I’m trying to say is- if you wanna talk about anything before someone comes in, I’m willing to listen.” Sorey offered, trying to offer him a smile to calm him down as much as it were for himself.

He looked as if he were contemplating it, before he shook his head. “No- no I’m okay, really. It was just- a stupid mistake.” Mikleo washed his hands, and Sorey watched helplessly as he walked out. He followed him, nearly tripping over his own feet in a rush to get to him.

Edna had been waiting by the entrance, pushing herself away from the wall when Mikleo showed up. “Oh my god, thank you for finally coming out you two. What did you get into a heated moment or something?” she quipped and Sorey couldn’t help the flush rising to his cheeks.

“Of course not, Edna. Why would we even think of doing something in a school bathroom?” Mikleo scoffed, quickly retaliating against her remark. Sorey stood awkwardly between them as they exchanged banter, was this normal for them?

The brunet turned to Sorey, and held out his phone. “Here- uh, you know, thanks for helping me out in there…” Mikleo mumbled, shaking his hand to reiterate his motive. Sorey blinked a couple of times before jumping and smiled brightly. He took his phone and input his number, excited to get a chance to text Mikleo.

“C’mon, Meebo, we gotta get back to the office. He will be here soon to pick you up, so let’s go.”

Sorey waved to them as they walked away, and Mikleo smiled back. It wasn’t a big smile, but a smile nonetheless, and it made his heart leap in ways that it hadn’t in a long time.

Later that night, he received a text from Mikleo. That night he ended up staying later than he had in a long time.

* * *

 

 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> welll if seems i won't be finishing this fic ever but i found this draft for chapter 2 and wanted to post it. i'm sorry everyone i've failed you all

“Many cultures around the world have used music as means to communicate, because it’s a mostly wordless art, you don’t have to speak a certain language to know what music is trying to portray.” 

The instructor had seemed like she was talking for forever, Mikleo hid his phone behind his music stand. He knew the students behind him wouldn’t care, they were probably doing the same as he were. He sneaked a few glances, his phone blinking as new messages popped up on the screen. A small smile tilted his lips upward. 

12:48PM Sorey: Hey would you like to hang out today after school??  
12:49PM Sorey: Gramps woldnt mind if you did

12:49PM Me: Sorry, I can’t I have to go home and practice

So far that was how all of their conversations went, and he felt bad. He truly did. “Music comes first.” The words of his uncle came to him, and Mikleo carefully slipped his phone into the outside pocket of his violin case. When he played, he felt at peace. When he played, he simply lost himself in the notes and nothing but him and his instrument existed. 

A perfect escape. 

He waited after class for Edna, who arrived with an even deeper than usual scowl on her face. Mikleo laughed and slung his violin case over his shoulder, backpack on the other one. He trotted up to her, opening his mouth to speak. “Hey, what’s got you so so-”

“Mikleo!” 

Violet eyes turned to the left, and he saw Sorey beside her. The boy was smiling and Edna rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. “Great, I can’t wait to get third wheeled again.” she said without much malice to her words. Mikleo knew Edna was just as grateful for the brunet’s company, he melted into their group fairly well. 

Group. It wasn’t a group, more like a trio. Mikleo smiled softly and closed the door behind him, Sorey and him following Edna close behind. Sorey was chattering away beside him, filling the emptiness between the three of them. He was talking about something they discussed in his history class, and Mikleo wished he could share his enthusiasm. 

His uncle was returning from a business trip, and that was all he could think about. They stopped by Soreys next classroom, and he smiled warmly at both of them. “I’ll see you two at lunch, right?” he asked, green eyes wide. 

Mikleo nodded excitedly. “Yeah. I brought some good snacks today for you to try.” Sorey brightened even more at that, and even fistpumped the air. 

“Sorry but, I’m gonna have to pass on lunch today.” Edna spoke. They both looked at her quizzically, and she shook her head. “Don’t take it personally, I have to finish a project for class. I’ll be in the library if you need me.” she waved both of them off, and offered a small, barely visible smile. “I’ll see you after class, Meebo.” she playfully shook his shoulder and was off. 

The violinist watched as she disappeared down the hall, and then turned to Sorey once again. “I’ll see you in the usual place. Text me.” he smiled and pushed the brunet into his classroom. 

He had open period next, and he took that time to go outside. It wasn’t warm outside, spring still barely trying to come back after such a cold winter. Mikleo tightened his jacket around him, hoisting his violin further up his shoulder. 

“Kid, if you don’t wear more layers I’m afraid you’re gonna catch a cold.” Zaveid, one of the gym teachers, spoke as he walked up to him. Mikleo looked the man up and down, and let out a sigh. The man seemed to be wearing even less layers than he was, so what business did he have scolding him? Mikleo walked faster, but Zaveid caught up to him in no time. 

With most adults, he absolutely refused to make eye contact. But Zaveid had earned his trust time and time again, despite being a teacher. “Do you have anything to tell me, or are you just trying to pester me again?” Mikleo asked, stopping to stare up at him. 

He put his hands up defensively, laughing. “Just wanted to ask how things are going.” he laughed, but his expression darkened as it fell away to silence. “I heard he’s coming back tonight, are you doing okay?” 

Mikleo stiffened when Zaveid put a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and sat down on one of the benches in their school yard, putting his violin case gingerly down on the ground. “Fine.” he bit out. Zaveid stood before him, one hand on his hip. 

“I know you and your uncle don’t have the best relationship, and after what happened to you-” Zaveid stopped speaking. After a few moments of silence, he spoke again. “I don’t want you to get hurt again, and as a teacher it’s sort of my responsibility to make sure you’re safe.” Mikleo grit his teeth and glared at the taller man. 

“Michael won’t hurt me. He has better things to do then touch me, you know.”

“I know kid, but he doesn’t have to put his hands on you in order to hurt you--”

Mikleo let out a strangled sound, and it cut Zaveid off as he felt angry tears well up in his eyes. “I said, he won’t hurt me. Just- leave me alone. Please.” he looked at the ground instead, weakly wiping his eyes with his jackets sleeve. He swallowed angrily and absolutely refused to make eye contact with his teacher. 

“Okay.” he heard him say, and when he looked up next, Zaveid was gone. Mikleo fumbled for his phone, wanting to get ahold of Sorey as quickly as possible. 

\------

He tuned his violin, messing with the knobs at the top. Mikleo closed his eyes and dragged his bow across the strings, the instrument singing in his arms. The brunet took a deep breath and began to play a short tune, it wasn't an official piece but it was a nice warm up. 

Tomorrow was group therapy, but he only wanted to get through tonight. 

Mikleo was almost lost in the world of music when his uncle knocks on his bedroom door. His heart sped up, “Come in.” Mikleo put his violin in his lap. He smiled at Michael, who only scowled back. 

“Have you finished your homework?” the man asked and Mikleo nodded his head. “Good. Let me listen to you play, I haven't heard you since I left.” Michael took a seat at his desk, turning the swivel chair to face Mikleo. 

With a deep breath, Mikleo positioned his violin up on his shoulder. When he started to play, he couldn't close his eyes. Not with Michael watching him. Instead of focusing on his uncle, he focused on his music. He looked at his sheet of music on his collapsible sheet stand and began to play. 

The music came out wonderfully, and Mikleo felt his stomach easing as he played more. The ease was short lived however; Michael had cleared his throat. 

“Your holding your instrument wrong, and it sounds atrocious.” 

Mikleo blinked, suddenly pulled back to reality as his uncle stood up. He grabbed Mikleos arms roughly, positioning him as if he were like a doll. Mikleo hissed when Michaels hands gripped his forearms, and his uncle took a step back. “Have you been practicing at all while I was gone?” he asked. 

“Yes, of course I have!” Mikleo said, louder than expected. He swallowed when Michael opened his mouth.

“Don't think just because I am gone doesn't mean you can slack off. I didn't give you Muse’s old violin for you to make it sound like garbage.” Michael spat, and Mikleo couldn't help wince at his words. He lowered his head in apology. 

“I’m sorry, uncle… I’ll try better.” he said.

When he took a step back, he spoke. “Again, from the top.” 

Mikleo played, he played until his fingers hurt. Michael had since left the room, leaving his nephew to continue playing. He only stopped practicing when he heard the shower come on, and his uncle was getting ready for bed. 

He lowered his violin and looked at it. It was chipped and showed signs of age, he ran his fingers over the wooden surface. Michael was right. Muse wouldn't have wanted her precious violin to be played by some mediocre artist. Mikleo bowed his head and tried not to let his tears come back. 

His mother’s violin was the only remaining thing that he had of hers, Michael kept everything else in the attic away from him. Not even any photos of her remained, but only from Michael was he able to piece a picture of her together. Mikleo wondered what songs she was good at, did she like to play? 

Mikleo put his instrument away and zipped it shut, setting it up against the wall near his bed. His phone blinked on his bed stand, and he grabbed it. Mikleo yawned and pushed his bangs out from his vision, eyes bleary without his contacts. 

6:34PM Edna: hey don't forget Eizen is coming by at 8 to pick you up, i'll be there too

He smiled.

10:12PM Me: Okay, thank you edna :-)

\-----

He couldn’t be perfect no matter how hard he tried. Perfection was an art, a skill that one had to be born with. His uncle wanted him to be perfect, the perfect little player who could hit every note. Mikleo liked to believe Michael did care about him more than just a violinist, after all he didn’t have to do all he did for him.

Being compared to a woman long since gone did hurt however.

Muse was a beautiful player, people often said she was one of a kind. Her music was refined and magnificent. But she had stopped playing when word got around of her dirty secret. She had become pregnant, and the woman refused to name a father. This was an outrage in the community, and it was the start of her downfall. 

Her brother tried to talk her out of it, Michael offered ways out. Abortion. Muse refused, saying she was going to take care of her unborn child even if it meant sacrificing her reputation. 

_“No one will want to hear you play anymore, sister! You have to think of your career!”_

She was adamant. She knew it was going to ruin her, but the love she felt for her child was immense. Much more than the love she felt for her career, as much as she adored music, her child had been more important. 

_“It’s not my decision to make, Michael. I am happy this way, can’t you see?” Muse tried to assure her brother, but he stood by his decision._

__

__

“You could try adoption, that way you can continue your violin playing and neither of you will be burdened.” Michael offered, putting a hand on her shoulder. Muse shrugged him off and shook her head, her amethyst eyes filled with tears. 

_She knew there was no way that she could get rid of this child, even Michael had given up trying to convince her. Muse was dead set, and could he really deny his sister the happiness she had finally found?_

He should have. 

Mikleo had read articles about her death. 

_Woman, 26, found dead, washed up along the shore of local river. Evidence points to suicide, as her family has turned in a letter of heartfelt goodbye. She left behind a child, four years old.”_

His uncles special brand of love was what got him through even the toughest of instructors, each teacher he went through had given him a tougher time because of his mother. At least, as a young child he accepted the treatment because he knew it was going to help him in the long run. But now, when he looked at himself in the mirror in the morning, dark circles contrasting starkly against his pale complexion, all he could feel was tired. 

__

__

Genuine exhaustion made it harder to get up from bed, but even his alarms made sure that he did not fall back asleep. Mikleo rubbed his face, pulling away only to splash cold water from the faucet onto his face. There was not much to do, he hadn’t needed to tip toe around the house. Michael had left for work early that morning, he always had. 

Mikleo shrugged on a loose sweater and some jeans, not having any motivation to really plan any outfit or anything. He grabbed his phone and his bag, keys held onto the side by a clasp, and made his way down the steps. The apartment he lived in was barely furnished, his uncle had a taste for minimalism. Mikleo poured himself a cup of coffee that was left over from this morning and took a few sips. 

Nearly on the dot of eight the doorbell rang. Mikleo felt elated, happy to not be alone anymore. Edna greeted him when he opened the door, her signature scowl not in place. Instead it was a frown, and immediately Mikleo felt worried. “Edna? What’s wrong?” Mikleo asked, his hand gripping the door knob tightly. Eizen stood behind her and grunted. 

“Let us in Mikleo, we have to talk.” 

The brunet felt confused but warily stepped to the side, allowing space for them to walk inside. Mikleo sat on the couch adjacent to them and tilted his head. “What’s up?” he had asked, voice shy. The mood was dour and it made him anxious. What could have possibly happened?

“Dezel’s dead.” Edna said. It was all she said. Mikleo’s mouth opened in surprise, his heart lurching in his chest. “He passed away last night. He…” Edna’s voice faltered. “Rose was with him. He went peacefully.” 

Mikleo was quiet. He had been shocked, though he knew it was inevitable-- the doctors said he had more time to live! “Ho-how is this possible? I mean I know he’s been sicker lately but the doctors they said he was healthier than usual.” he had begun to ramble. 

This made Edna snap her head up at him, her eyes flaring with anger. “Meebo, he’s dead! Gone. Rose told me this, his health just took a turn for the worse and he passed away. There will be no group today.”

He sat back in his chair, dismay written all over his face. Dezel was gone. He wondered how Rose must’ve felt, they were close. “Does Sorey know?” Mikleo asked quietly. 

Edna shook her head. “I think it should be you who tells him. Not over text. You know that kid has been dying to meet up with you outside of school, right?” He did know but he hadn’t any time, outside of therapy and school most of his time was spent doing homework and practicing. The blonde girl stood up and walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You need to tell him. Be there for him, and he’ll be there for you.” It was when they were up close he could see the sadness on her face, her face was pale and her cheeks red from crying. 

Mikleo pulled her into a hug, feeling the tears well up in his eyes. Dezel was going to be missed, that was for sure.


End file.
